Frequently Asked Questions
- Do you do this for a living?
- Nope, just while I am.
- Nice answer smart ass. So what pays the bills?
- Computery things for now...hopefully one day I'll make it big as a used appliance salesman.
- Do you tour?
- Plots and schemes are underway that include free shows at top secret locations. Sign up and I'll let you know.
- Are you married?
- Yes. This is how we met.
- What the hell is telomerase?
- Telomeres are the ends of chromosomes. They shorten in specific intervals as you age and your cells divide or replicate. To my cave-monkey cortex it was a ripe metaphor for aging.
- What's with the ice cream sandwich?
- I used to wonder why I liked them too...then I saw this and it made more sense.
- How many calories do you consume per day?
- All of them.
- How do I make a delicious chocolate milkshake?
- Like this.
- First album you bought?
- It was a white cassette called Blast Off by the Stray Cats and yes it was and still is awesome.
- Smartest song you've ever heard?
- This one.
- Funniest website in the world?
- This one.
- Do you have a favorite cereal?
- If fruit loops with marshmallows is cheating (for a limited time only), I'd have to say peanut butter cheerios.
- Who are your influences?
- You can hear most of them on the ETC page or get a nice list right here.
- What kind of guitars/pedals/kazoos do you use?
- Here's a list of all my stuff.
- I'm feeling funky. You know anything about that?
- As your attorney I advise you to watch this.
- Favorite apps?
- Cleartune! Cracked Magazine. That one that shows you how much of your life you’ve wasted dicking around with pointless apps.
- Best tracks to induce happy naps?
- Brian Eno's Music for Airports. Grant Green's Idle Moments. The Slip's Mr. Meowskers. Nighty Night!
- Do you yahoo?
- Occasionally, yes i do.
- Best BBQ sauce?
- Rufus Teague's Honey Sweet
- Best album cover?
- This one caught my eye.
- Best Album?
- Ramsay Midwood's Shootout at the OK Chinese Restaurant.
- Best soda?
- Jones Green Apple.
- Beatles or Stones?
- If forced I would take the best songs from each and put them in a playlist called Stoned Beatles. Then I would listen to The Kinks.
- Walrus or Otter?
- Otter every time.
- Is Wiley Moosepaw your dog and can he really talk?
- Of course. He's the wookie of the year. Every year.
- What should I name my dog?
- Brewsky McGoose!
- What should I name my cat?
- Skeebo.
- How do I learn to beatbox?
- Slowly repeat the words "boots" and "cats". Now build speed and enthusiasm while imagining Biz Markie riding a waverunner through your local Walmart.
- Best type of bird?
- The Andrew Bird.
- Which King is your favorite?
- The Freddie.
- Name a cool song you just heard that I haven't
- The Handsome Family's Tinfoil
- I can read. Can you recommend five books?
- The Guide Phantoms in the Brain The Last Lecture The Roominghouse Madrigals Tom Petty This Guy
- What number am I thinking of?
- Nine.
- Nope. it was fifty four.
- Ahhh. But five plus four is nine.
- OOOooooo...you some kind of psychic sumbitch?
- Nope, but I can tell if a french fry is going to be good or not just by looking at it.
- I have math homework, can you help?
- Nope, but try this place.
- What is the meaning of life?
- 42. George Carlin's Big Electron or this one: "Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer." — Joseph Campbell
- What are three things you do every day?
- Listen to music. Look for something. Try not to take anything for granted.
- Has music ever tried to kill you?
- Good question. Not directly, but I was listening to this song when I drove my wife's car down a frozen 40 ft ravine into the woods.
- What song do you want played at your funeral?
- This one
- I wanna be a sungwriter to, but my spelling is horible and I only play the kazoo...got any advice?
- If you wanna make it in this internet rap game you gonna need to bring it. Then go have yoself a sandwich cause you obviously ain't brought it. What I'm gettin at is quantity breeds qualities so you better pimp a verse till it hurts and then rework and re-work. Also, brush those damn teeth while you still got em.
- Hi, my name is Sarah and I am a super specialist in SEO. Have you heard of it? It's where you give me money and access to your website and I make sure Google knows about it!
- Sure, but can you tell me if this is sufficient?
- My name is Dr. Umbatat Sundahooli Batabingo. I am writing you from my office which will be of a great immense benefit for both of us. I have just discovered an abandoned paltry sum of 7 million dollars in a bank in Nigeria that is tied up in some terribly worded situation in which the only possible way to free my trapped funds is to transfer them to your bank account and split the cash with you 60/40 because I, although desperate, am a super nice guy or some such nonsense. Would you be interested in entering a business relationship with me and helping me with this highly illegal and suspicious transaction?
- Hang on. Let me get my account numbers.
